I'm not Supposed to Feel like This: BE More Confident, Have HIGHER Self-Esteem

“Learn to value yourself, and you will learn to value your time. Until you truly grasp the worth of your time, you will not be able to utilise it. ”
 A. Sumra

Everyone feel's low sometimes, that is life. However, when the feelings do not go away and seem to be engrained into your belief system then you know it is time to take action. It is important to understand, accept and realise that when you are feeling low, depressed/ stressed, the ONLY person that can help YOU is YOURSELF.  Looking after number 1 and breaking the cycle is challenging but can be done if you make use of your own personal strengths. 

Things that we think, feel and do are all related to each other.  For example, if you think:

'I can't do anything right, everything I do ends up wrong and does not work out'

Then the resulting action will affect your social life and further bridge to your mental state (a feeling of isolation is most common). This can then lead to physical symptoms like headaches, stabbing pains etc.  Feeling like you are not well and cant accomplish anything is a negative thought so we are back to the first step and the cycle continues. It is a cycle that can be hard to break and get out of.

One way of managing low mood, making yourself feel better and taking a step towards feeling happier is managing your self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a major cause of feeling worthless and this can in turn affect cortisol levels and can stunt your gains.  This is because at times we have to put up with pressures and expectations which leads to criticisms.  For example 'look at how skinny you' or 'look at how big you've got'. Most times you may be able to shrug off these comments, but when you are feeling low in self-confidence and self-esteem such words can have a major effect on how you feel and behave.

Self-esteem is about your own personal opinion of yourself, having high self-esteem means having a good opinion of yourself.  This is in no way arrogance or pride, it is a healthy belief that you are a good person, fully capable, with the ability to make your own decisions and like all humans you have your strengths and weaknesses.  Low self-esteem can start at any time and can come from our background, upbringing, the media, and at times even parents.  A situation where you are not praised for who you are, your achievements cannot encourage you to feel happy about yourself. Negative self-esteem is maintained by how you react to situations, the beliefs you have about yourself, how you interpret things and what others have to say.

Your self esteem is not something that is concrete and fixed, the way you feel about yourself can change in an instant and remember everyone on this earth is different and special in their own way. When you have a negative mood the only thoughts that crop up in our mind are negatives ones. Take a second to re-evaluate the situation you are in an try and see it in a different light.

There are ways to manage self-esteem and try to build yours and here are some suggestions:

• Always give whatever you do your best shot.
• Get to know yourself.  Understand what you are good at and what your weaknesses are so you can have realistic goals.  Don't be scared to try new things, this will help you learn more about yourself.
• Learn not to be too hard on yourself and reward yourself for when you do good.  No matter how small an achievement it is, make yourself feel good when you have made an achievement.
•  Be grateful for what you have - make a list of all that you have in the world that you are grateful for from the smallest pleasures such as clothes and a roof over your head, before you sleep at night think about theses and it will make you realise how fortunate you are.
• Don’t be so hard on yourself – Know that everyone has moments of weakness and makes mistakes. Learn to forgive your own and see every situation as a new chance and opportunity where anything can happen.

In short: in order to change anything about your life you need to take action yourself, even a very small change will make a big difference. Learn to accept who you are, there are some things in life which cannot be changed, it is important for us to have the courage to change the things we can, accept the things we cannot and the ability to know the difference between the two.

If there are topics which you would like us to discuss in the coming articles or if you have any questions about this article please do let us know by emailing greatmindsgreatbodies@gmail.com